If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
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He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize