I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We are all done wearing pants today
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
