I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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