He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
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i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
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I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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