After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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