And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
where are my eyebrows?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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