I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize