take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
