right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
