we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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