Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
