okay pat passed out under dana's car
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
