Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
