3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
