Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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