if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
