I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
