we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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