I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
