Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
