she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
