you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
These tits shall not be calmed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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