dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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