Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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