He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
