hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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