We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
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Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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