i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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