Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You're a waste of cheezeits
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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