so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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