Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
