i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
