Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize