no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.