I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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