drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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