Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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