i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She even gives head with a lisp.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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