Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
