dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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