We need to rekindle our bromance
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize