i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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