My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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