During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
