You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
