You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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