just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
