We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I know her cup size but not her name....
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