You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
