Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The convent might be a nice break from real life
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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