she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize