well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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