I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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