well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
