It's just like the Real World with babies
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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